The 85/15 Rule:
85% of each of us is pretty good stuff, we all have 15% that isn’t always so hot.
So the question is, when looking at our relationships “what are you going to choose to focus on?” The 85% we love/like or the 15% we don’t?” Often times we loose sight of the good parts of our relationship by letting the 15% take center stage.
I think it is important to note that sometimes the 15% is NOT acceptable and truly is the 85%, I am referring to abusive, unhealthy, and dangerous relationships. These are the relationships we might consider leaving behind.
Breathe In, Breathe Out, Live NOW
Love or Fear
I believe that all emotions begin with Love or Fear, every other emotion is derived from one or the other. If we are not from a loving place, we are coming from a fear based place. Example: Anger = Fear.
I use this as a barometer in my life and it is a great tool to bring myself back to NOW. When I am not coming from a loving place I check in to figure out “what I am afraid of?”
This is also an excellent tool when we come up against someone behaving badly, ask yourself “what are they afraid of?” This allows for us to be more compassionate and it gives us a chance to look at their behavior from a different angle.
The Only Moment That Matters Is NOW
How Much Does It Matter?
Do you find yourself getting irritated easily? The next time you find yourself getting annoyed, stop and ask yourself:
In an hour from now is this going to matter?
In a day, a week, or a year from now is this going to matter?
When we allow ourselves to get distracted with small irritants we miss NOW. Time to put it in perspective, chill out and let it GO!
Life Happens NOW
What does that look like in our life? Do we own our “stuff” or do we want to dump it on someone else? How important is it to find someone to blame?
Nobody’s perfect, we get it wrong sometimes, we get it right sometimes too. I believe the greatest lessons in life are from our mistakes if we are willing to step up, see the role we’ve played and recognize what we might do differently and what we have learned. One way to be assured of not getting the lesson is to hide behind blame. By blaming others we sidestep our own accountability. Try forgiveness in lieu of blame, rise to accountability. Step out of the past, you cannot change any of it, focus on what you are going to do and feel in this moment. It is far more inviting living in a place of accountability, humbleness, and joy.
Live Life NOW
Would You Rather Be Happy or Right?
Have you ever left a relationship, friendship, or job because “you were right and they were wrong?” How did that work out? I’m not saying you weren’t right, but was it worth the price you paid to be right? Sometime the answer to that is yes, and sometimes we surrender a lot just to be right.
I often find “being right” to be quite overrated especially when it overrides being happy. Often we get into a rut, picking apart the least little bits in our relationships so we can prove we are right and they are wrong. Here is a tip, if you make someone wrong enough, long enough they will leave.
Another valuable look in the mirror is: Are you that person who is always right? No one is always right, take the pressure off, choose happy.
Valuing happiness over being right is quite healthy. At the end of the day how much does being right matter? Respecting someone’s point of view doesn’t sign you up to agree, it doesn’t it sign you up to change your view, nor however does it become your job to judge or try to change their mind.
Embrace our differences Right Here Right Now.
RHRN ~ Suzanne